In truth if I had a chance to "do it all again" type of thing. One thing that has helped my husband and I was a marriage class we joke that it was more like marriage therapy when we had only been married two years. I mean lots of his friends from residency have girlfriends or wives and make it work. Among Mormons, 25 is practically an old maid. If you decide to marry this man, you both will find a way to be happy and have a wonderful marriage, not that perfect that we see in the Sundays at Church. Love and support them just as you would if your husband was a carpenter.
I was actually just talking to my husband about that the other day, at first he said that it depressed him when I said that, but really, it helps. Earlier I mentioned "Even if the church believes a bunch of crazy nonsense, and she believes it too, I still really like her and would like to see whether we can have some good intellectual conversations about this stuff. Almost everything is complicated.
If we do, I will be back to share my experiences. There are many great and wonderful people in the church, and the real evil about the church is that it harms those great and wonderful people. It also means that you have to give her something particular to do. This I knew before we married and accepted. Up to this point, she has just assumed that all atheists are innately evil people. You sound like a wonderful person. Too many disappointments, sick nights without your husbands, his absence during family gatherings, my usual OBGYN checkup without him, even simple things of hugging and spending quality time is always remote. I hope I can forgive it someday, but even still my anger is red hot. I'd rather marry a doctor and let him have a mistress on the side if that means not having to worry about money. About two years into our marriage, I got sick of waiting in bed for him to come read scriptures with me.
As you can see Also, the fact that she served a mission is evidence of her dedication to the religion. A lot of Mormons escape that pitfall and can put people first. You will be expected to condone but not attend events in the temple to which you will not be granted access. I'm glad you both have found a way to get past the incredible forces that are working against you. But please also know that the people who love you are hoping you make the right decision because they want you to be happy.